Peter Feldmár

"I would ask that within that period, still studying in high school... after all, it was the sixties when things were loosening up. I know that you can't compare it like that, because you didn't experience the fifties, but I would be interested in whether even in that period of the sixties, there was still some kind of narrative, even from educators, that it was necessary to build the socialist homeland... somehow so vigorously, or it was already more in the background. I'll admit that I somehow didn't follow it, but for the first time as far as... it wasn't even politics, but rather the impact of that policy. The year sixty-eight... it marked me a lot! He marked me… our family and he marked me personally! Personally, by being a sophomore in school… like in elementary school. I went to the third year in school and suddenly, I had three classmates... a classmate who was Jewish, with whom we got along extremely well, and the school year started and suddenly this classmate was not in the class. At that time, my parents didn't emphasize it so much that's why.... Only then, when we were in the fall, when my grandmother was dying and we were in Austria and wanted to stay abroad... then they told me: "Look, your friend Katka is also gone with her parents, and maybe we will go too , if we succeed." Unfortunately, my grandmother got very sick, that is, grandma... and we went back. We couldn't leave her at home alone… but it affected those relationships a lot because day by day, everyone else… my friends, our family friends…. they left after the events in August and I lost most of my friends overnight. My parents did too, but they worked... you don't go to work to have fun and make friends, but they still had the social ties that I didn't have. And that had a rather strong effect on me, on my psyche. I was very depressed and it bothered me... and the teachers also changed... they started telling us that the liberators today are scumbags... and it was very surprising for a young person that all this happened overnight. Well, overnight I lost all my friends of the same age, I had none. Well, gradually I still didn't know what politics was, we didn't talk about it at home, but it started, and later after the seventies, yes... it was exactly the same as you might be asking about it. Exactly those teachers who said they were scumbags, suddenly they were liberators and continued... the regime changed and I became schizophrenic, because at school you had to say something different, act differently, and at home of course I was already guided ... and something completely different was being talked about."

"And during this period, those hiding places probably changed more often... than before, or? Last year... just forty-two to forty-four, those places changed quite often. After that, the place didn't change at all… they were still in the same forest. Only in those… of course in the bunkers… only in those bunkers, but underground. You know... that someone has already prepared them there, right? I have the impression that the partisans did this, that they prepared the bunkers there. Not only for my mother's family, but probably also for other Jewish fellow citizens. And they mentioned at all how difficult it was to find water, food and even the basic foodstuffs... something to at least somehow survive. No, she didn't mention it at all... she only mentioned that, considering that she and her brother were quite often sick and suffered from serious diseases in their old age, that it was unfortunately because they lived in inhumane conditions, with frostbite and with severe infectious diseases, which of course signed their health. But as for some nutrition, it was something completely normal for them… in quotes normal… considering that they didn't know as children, from the year… from the age of five just… my mother probably didn't know what normal nutrition was, just about what they got here and there. One thing is true, my mother, for example, could not drink raw milk until the end of her life, as far as I can remember. And that was because, of course, the peasants there could only have the cow's milk. And she hated tomatoes all her life... I know exactly why, because the only thing there was... the peasants, the only thing they grew were those tomatoes, and my mother couldn't eat them anymore. And have any memories of that liberation been preserved? For that crossing of the front, and at which moment they could actually return somewhere... and to those places from... These were preserved very precisely for her, unfortunately... because she experienced one very terrible experience. When they were freed, or when they returned from this potato, they went back to their home during the Black Period. Of course, the house was bombed or destroyed, but there were rooms for the servants... who worked there and they moved into such two rooms. With my uncle lying in a blanket like that… and at night, one night, my grandfather, as he was quite engaged as a guerrilla at that time, there was a meeting in that local pub… my grandfather was there. And suddenly someone threw a grenade into the crib... through the window, and only thanks to the fact that my uncle was still relatively small and slept in some duvets... not duvets, but they had nothing else... he was sleeping on a soft surface, so the grenade didn't explode. Otherwise, they would have been killed after the war... after the liberation...!"