Thandar (aka) Hnin Pan Eain

Thandar (aka) Hnin Pan Eain – FIRST CLIP My father is U Tin Sein, a former political prisoner. He is a returnee for Coco island. He is also known as Bo Dhamma by his co-inmates from Coco island. Then my mother is Daw Than Sein. I was bornn on 8 april 1966 in South Okkalar, Rangoon. I am currently working as a counselor at Assistance Association for Political Prisoners (AAPP). As other occupation I am a writer. My pen name is Hnin Pan Eain. When I was 6 month old my father was arrested. As domestic peace effort fostered by the great master Thakhin Kotaw Hmine and major general Kyaw Zaw collapsed peace in our family was scattered too. Dad was arrested when I was six month. Only when I was three year old could we know where dad was sent to. Dad was sent to Coco island.. sent to Coco island. When dad was released I was seven year old. I had never seen him before. From six month until seven year I had never seen him. Dad was released by the amnesty granted by U Ne Win on the occasion of the adoption of 1974 Constitution. Dad and his colleagues staged a 52 day hunger strike in Coco island for abolition of isolated island imprisonment. Then isolated island imprisonment was abolished. They were transferred to Insein prison and released from there. I was living with my elder uncle. In Taik Gyi my grandmother, elder uncle and my mother. It hurts me whenever I recall my childhood. People then told me about my dad. "Your father is a returnee from prison, he is a bad guy. That is why he ended up in prison". I was affected by neighborhood, surroundings. That is why on his release to return home I did not immediately call him "dad". With pain and trauma he sustained in prison he returned that night along with three comrades. I did not know who my dad is. It hurt my dad because I did not call him dad on his return and it still hurts me if I think of it now. When I work as a counselor I realize and have better understanding about his psychological trauma. One night dad, mum and me slept together. He woke up middle of the night and strangled mum's neck. I fled out of fear. Then his comrades told him. "Bo Dhamma, release yourself, calm down. We are already home now". I heard their voice. Only after six months I started communicating with him through typed words. Things go that far. So it was my childhood. I thought that time;"When we grow up, we try to stay away from politics". But in reality we grew up in the age, in the system where there is no peace, human rights were being taken away. We all had to grow up in this system. So we were affected by imposters of life as well as by the system. When I was 12 year old, my father was arrested again. I had to quit the school. I have only finished 7th grade. My father was arrested for second time. I am the eldest daughter among four siblings. Dad had a lot of hope for me. But due to given circumstances of the time he kept on being involved in politics based on his own belief. He told me; "take it in this way that instead of seeking individual freedom for our own family we engage in freedom of the people". These days I happen to understand better what he said. What hurts me is white and green. When I see school children in white and green uniform, it hurts me. It hurts me when I hear school bell ring. I have great respect to school teachers more than needed. I admire them. Because I did not go to school. So I had few classmate friends in my childhood. I listened to others talk about friends with eyes gazed. I had to work. At the age of 12 I worked as a housemaid at my elder aunt's house. Until age of 24. When 88 uprising emerged I went to outside world from the kitchen. It was my father who opened my eyes to politics. My father told me; "when you deal with people, don't expect what you get from the world and from the society but instead think what you can offer to the world and the society in the first place". This is what he taught me. Another thing is in the age and the system we grow up people are not in peace, human rights are being deprived. So are we going to save ourselves as individual or save the world? This is the question my father asked since I was a child. Since I grew up with these questions I took part in 1988 general uprisings. end of first clip