Marta Szilárdová

“Since we came there, from the following month, none of us had menses for the whole stay. They gave us such pills to stop it. It was unacceptable in Auschwitz or in the other labor camp! There wasn´t any personal hygiene or any toiletries. And they stopped our periods by giving us bromine, or I don´t know what, right away we arrived there. My sister and I were not exceptions. However, when we returned home, a medical intervention was necessary to fix these things to the normal state. My sister even after being married for over a year had to undergo many treatments to be able to get pregnant. Fortunately, with her husband they later had one daughter Andrejka, who lives in Nové Zámky.”

“We weren´t religious back then either. Our family, or even if we look at whole Levice, there were maybe 5 religious families in total. It used to be a very modern town. However, after the Auschwitz experience, I kept asking: ‘Where was God? Where was he when we needed him? We are the chosen nation and such things happen? Even now, I don´t believe in that. I believe there is something extraterrestrial, some other power, so that the justice could reign one day. Because its time has to come. You know, I sometimes have weird opinions, but I always claim that justice awaits everyone, sooner or later. One never knows. Even if those who harmed others are not afflicted themselves, by any injustice or disease, it can easily happen that their loved ones do suffer in some way. That´s how they experience suffering as well. They might not realize it is a punishment for what they had done before. I just don´t think there are only two categories of people - those who are happy all the time, and those miserable all the time. That´s what I say. And I neither protest knowing where I belong. I know when the religious feasts are, but that´s all. I lost my faith. And who knows? Maybe one day I shall be punished for that. Only God knows it all, he sees all, and controls all. He even gave life to Hitler and gave him power to do what he did. Millions of people suffered because of him. Why? Tell me, does a reasonable explanation to this exist? Did God control that? No, he didn´t. Neither had he prevented that from happening.”